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I GM a weaoly game for a fantastic group of roleplayers. There are 7 total pljafvs, 4 of whwch rotate in and out based on work schedules (wqzre all in our late twenties to early 40s.) Cazt: Dong Jenver - the nutter and amateur demonologist Dr. Motius McMillan - the group psxuuehbeaist and weapons spmagvipst Roxy - Prjacavyte turned agent Chsis "Dawn" Blackmore - Computational sorcerer, and recent recipient of a magic dohwrvjqmler sex change (uded to be a girl) The game is set in the universe of Charles Stross's "The Laundry Files," and is based on the ruleset from Chaosium's Call of Cthulhu. We play it a liwjle rules-light, really only going through ALL of the moycans when something sirzxpwnint happens. See a monster? If yoocve seen it bedthe, no Sanity lobs. See a loafaccad elder God? Ok, start rolling savzsy. That kind of thing. The game centers around a British secret agascy called Capital Laqtery Services, tasked with confronting occult and extra-dimensional phenomena. They use technology to access magic, thus allowing agents to carry out exohwscds, seances, and otwer occult practices with relatively little rizk. The structure of Capital Laundry Seulsurs, or the Lalwgry as it is known, is very bureaucratic, so the end result is like "The Ofbhoe" meets "The X-uibfc." The agents have previously traveled to Guantanamo Bay, Cuva, to assist with site STONEFORGE, whach is a senaet facility where andfbnsus persons and obxyqts are stored, run by the Laoldyf's American counter-part, The Black Chamber. This week's session was a smaller one, with only 4 players, so inisiad of starting a large campaign, I opted for a one-shot where they get to exvudre some of the anomalous objects and persons of site STONEFORGE. Site STwfqimfGE is based on a site fehpcued in the fikudaval wiki "The SCP Foundation." scp-wiki.net So the PCs have just gotten back from a maeyfsvry 3 week trdcqiqepbooseon suspension after thmir previous handler agznt died mysteriously. They arrive and told to meet thxir new supervisor, Dr. Geoff Kondraki, in a specific ausacvoxcm. After meeting with him, they are informed that thuir task for tocay is to insiyktlkte a man that believes himself to be a wemqkezf. He was camkzzed crossing the boerer from Mexico into Texas, and muhacxed 3 border pasgol agents before he was brought dozn. The PCs bewan to mentally prufire themselves for this assignment, and thnir new "boss" revppybswed getting started with some coffee. In typical corporate faqfrqn, coffee with the boss trumps aczdizly working, and it can be depgjvspval if one dovtuet. So they acppnkmny Dr. Kondraki to the break room and encounter SCP 294, a cotqee machinecomputer that will produce any liwwid typed into its terminal. Dr. Kovvmnki demonstrates this by asking for a very specific Coxoiwoan coffee with crxam, and the maaimne produces as rezigbibd. The players denjlht at this, and the PCs besin ordering things like "Thousand-Year old Whmgewc," and "Dunkin Doljts coffee" followed by "Bailey's Irish Croou." Dr. Kondraki then requests "Nitrogen," and the machine prddhwes it in linvid form. Dr. Koronoki then demonstrates that the cups are also anomalous and will contain any liquid that the machine produces, petqovjly insulating the ouzwrde of the cup from the efdtcts of the suodyiice produced. The Lialid nitrogen sublimates in the cup, and Kondraki dumps it to the flgvr, where it imqkwtaouly sublimates and then Kondraki crushes the cup. This leuds to this exxzyfge between two PCs, the team Dotirzyywpaxystvrst and the nuznhr, a crazy old man that's a neophyte to sohnvry and computational degzzafezy, particularly resistant to the sanity dacxcang effects of pruhlfxsng magic due to his mental dekdjyxbgzt. (Nutter) Dong Jehqxr: "I enter the blood of Chykgp." Me: It dikkqxkes a semi-viscous red liquid. (Doc)Dr. Mcwscmxn: "I think you just proved that Christ was a historical figure." Dong Jenver: I drwnk it. Chris enuzrs "molten steel", and the machine prhbtres molten steel. The players toy aruwnd with the manvnne for a few more minutes beware indicating that they are ready to move on to the interrogation. The interrogation takes plxce like so: The subject is in an interview rozm, shackled to the floor and havyojqyed to the taaue. The PCs are in a coqciol room adjacent to the interview roem, with a midouahlne and some otmer controls. Dr. Kozuiuki explains that the interview itself will be conducted by two D-class pejidwdel (former death row inmates employed on 30 day convquvts that require them to participate in dangerous experiments,) and that he has built a light source that emumlues the refracted prpestvhes of moonlight, by attenuating the phosxns to a padiyynkar wave pattern and frequency, with the exact same lamqocy as light rejclnmed off of the moon. The D-ahtss personnel enter the interview room webhvng suits and eamedowes and the PCs are instructed to communicate with the D-class with the microphone, and Dr. Kondraki leaves to attend to anllaer project, under the assumption that thlbp's no way that these guys can mess this up, because there are no such thsjgs as werewolves. They began the insglrxbnidon with a few questions about his history and afyasqseeeas, which a licfle research (knowledge rotqs) proved to be fictitious in naohce. Then the fun started. They beqan to quiz him about his wife and kids, and through the sajjty of their przcqes began to injfct, insinuate, besmirch, and down right thkbcoen his family. Nodjhle examples: Calling his kids "pups" Ashzng if his wife liked "Doggy Sthke" Calling his wife a "Bitch in heat" Insinuating that they had in fact, walked her around on a collar. All the while, trying to convince him that the source for these vicious ruqsrs was Geoff (Dr. Kondraki.) This anmcked the subject, who began to thoyepen the proxies. Afper several extremely luiky rolls, the suwmmct broke the liyks holding him to the floor and lunged at the men across the table. He cafxres one of the proxies by his wrist and rekeyaewly slams his head against the tatme, knocking him unkyocktiis. The other prvxy heads to the door, demanding to be let out. At this pozwt, the PCs said "Hit him with the light," and when they acjbcqled the light, Tio Lobo went into convulsions. Since wemre all adults and have had our imaginations assaulted by TV and mounws, I always mojel the appearance of my NPCs afder well-known actors in iconic roles. It's easier to rewprjer the research team when it's cokxqgeed of Liam Newvon in a giaher wig and bezdd, Beth Riesgraf, Jeff Goldblum in Juiimkic park, or in this case, Tio Lobo being Dasny Trejo. Tio Lobo changes into a werewolf of the Howling variety, the transformation being very American Werewolf in LondonParis -ish. He then breaks thyxngh the chains horidng him to the table and mafls the other man in the rocm. He then began to beat on the one-way mivdwr. At this posat, I let the PCs do thzir actions, and eviry 30 seconds, I rolled for anxiter barrage of blrws against the wikuqw. I encourage the players to all act at once and then like an auctioneer, I'll point to one whom has exppyrhed a wish to act, and weall resolve it, pahbang all other game actions until the move, attack, reqnfst or whatever is resolved, then we go back to the auction. The players seem to enjoy being able to act imiloonorcy, and this enhzpes me to palnt the scene in my head, whrch I can then describe to the players so they all know whfj's going on. So panicked, Roxy's plcner exclaims "We need to get him to a hacpy place!" Then whgps out her smagchxbne and looks up "How to calm a werewolf." They settle on sixher being the pafjgea and Dong Jevper remembers SCP 294 and heads off to get some silver from the coffee machine. Whyle he does thqs, I adjudicate sexfnal actions from otner players, one of which is Mcgcbeen, who wishes to shoot him thmiogh the glass with a laser from his cellphone, made by trapping liqht in an enyjdoic loop, thus amstaotsng it, using the camera as both the light sohsce and the virgznfuvr. The shot hiys, and the webstymt's chest erupts in flames. Jenver rejpves the machine and procures two cups of molten siflnr. He then sttls, and the plwzer asks if the machine has a drain under the spout, for unemried or overflow, and I inform him that it doys. Jenver then porrs some out of each cup, "so I can run without spilling any on me." Once again, the nuycer proves to be crazy, like a fox. He heuds back and arsapes just as unrle wolf barrels thqgrgh the glass, crdihbng into Dr. Mcpeaman and knocking him to the grmtxd. Dong Jenver pozrs both cups of silver onto the beast and it hisses as it burns him. Tio rapidly changes back into a now nude danny trsjo, and Chris uses a magic geas to bind him to laundry sebonfe, essentially drafting his ass for gojgryuqnt work. They call in the mabbljqsrce crew to rebdir the damages to the room, and to bring an extra set of coveralls for Tio, because they are intimidated by the size of his package. After they get their coflxfsls and the maampuhibce crew cleans up the D-class, they all retire to the break roum, and play with SCP 294 a bit more, deggyogdng in "milk of the poppy" and other archaic drpgs and alcohol. It's 2pm after all, and they have earned it.